I have had this blog post for awhile now. I kept going back and forth on whether or not I should post it. In the end I decided why not! The whole point of my blog is to share my feelings…..
With the end of the year fast approaching, I have been spending some time reflecting on my goals for 2012. What I achieved, what I totally slacked on and what will make the 2013 list?
A BIG goal for me was to let things roll off my back and focus on the happiness of myself, my husband and my son, and to remove negativity in my life. This. Has been HARD.VERY HARD! A friend on Facebook shared the photo at the top of this post and I had to share it as well. I am someone who is dealing with a constant, never ending whirlwind of negativity (not my own or anyone close to me, but an extension of something). I really can’t get too much into it here, but I will say that it is not always so easy to limit my time with negative people. Even if I don’t see these negative people on a regular basis, what they do and say to my loved ones turns me into a serious Mama bird and I do whatever I can to protect them.
Before I get further into this, let me set the record straight. I really am a positive person. Everyday I am thankful for so many things. My husband, my son, great friends, amazing parents who will spend way too long in traffic to drive downtown to baby-sit while I work on things that I am passionate about because they understand and support me, my health of course, my brother who even while living in NYC is there to talk for however long I need to talk. I really am thankful for TONS!
Back to negative people… I’m just going to come right out and say it… I just don’t get people sometimes. Like really? You really think that what you just said should have zero implications? Or really, someone treats someone you love poorly yet you continue to make nice and be friends? Really? Some might say that I need to be more forgiving, or more patient..more…I don’t know what. But what I will say is this, where I come from we believe in respect and it’s a two way street. If I don’t get it, I’m not going to give it, and we tend to stand by our loved ones. What I am actually trying to do is remove contamination and get through to others to get rid of it as well, but it literally feels like I am hitting my head against a wall sometimes as a result. Life is way too short to be angry and bitter, so I am not going let anyone bring me to that level no matter what. No matter what you are going through it is no excuse to treat others badly.
Believe me when I say that I certainly don’t think that everyone needs to go all guns a blazing and defend yourself or loved ones, but there is certainly nothing wrong with saying your piece. To stand up for yourself and then expect that others will understand and support you and not act like nothing happened and everyone is all sunshine and lollipops.
If you’re like me and you can’t actually remove the contamination, be honest about how you are feeling, talk about it, and as hard as it is remember, remember that:
I guess what I am trying to say is….”I am a good enough person to forgive you, but not stupid enough to trust you again”. Oh and the next time I see said negativity, I will be the bigger person and just say nothing at all. Unless of course you start in on who I love, then the gloves might come off 😉